Tiffany in the arms of Pat, on a Sunday evening
the sun creeping in from the windows
surrounded by family and friends.
that was the ending of the silver lining book, a movie based on a Mathew Quick novel, at the start Tiffany and Pat seemed too irreconcilable for each other, on the contrary to what one might think, they grew in love with that, and that ending was merely their start.
this was my third time watching this movie, it was a weird kind of romance, something i’m fond of, this time it was the inimical ending, that so intricately captured my mind, it had me wondering, when will my life stop being so stagnant, when will this pain end for a start to see light in my way.
i have always wanted to do more, be more, to evolve, to be better, everyone has it’s own image of what a better person is, in my eyes, is a person who experienced as much as someone can, both what’s wrong and right, what’s forbidden and what’s allowed, only then i can be better, because that’s when one can truly know himself. yet something always held me down, something so oppressive, and too clamorous to be ignored, is that them, or is it just me? is life going the wrong way, or have i been choosing the wrong path?
for 30 minutes after the movie has ended, i sat feeble mumbling to myself, what is it like to progress, to move on, to be going somewhere, rather than to be lost in a maze, rewinding the same routes over and over, building a fantasy of how the world is outside that maze, i refuse to loose hope of what’s in hand, still i refuse to loose hope of ever finding a way out, a lost hope i’m clinging to!
Pat was bipolar, lost in his mood swings and believes that the past can still be his future, in between Tiffany made his present a progression to a different future with the same past, she thought him acceptance, when he finally accepted himself as the mess he was, he opened his eyes to a new potential with the only person who ever accepted his flaws and turned them virtuous.
only then, i knew that i shall not let my life wither just because my future isn’t as familiar as my past.
only now as i am writing my ending to this, my eyes are open to him.