decaffeinated me

sentences unaligned

words with half letters missing

“i should cut on the caffeine a bit” i sarcastically stated

“yes you should, it’s bad for you” my friend said

 bleegh, i grunted ” life is bad for me”

Heidi Systo – Flicker

see i never got the idea behind people taking the leverage to say that’s good and that’s bad for you, well thank you for the inquiry, i am sure i’m grown enough to know what’s good and what’s bad for me, that’s what always runs in mind when anyone says that to me, but i reluctantly fail at declaring it for some reason, and when i’m really not in the mood for any one to act a *know it all* on me – that being most of the time- my response would be more like ” bollocks, listen you human, i haven’t got the slightest capacity for your pretentious feed today” that too is said only in mind.

i’m normally calm enough on the outside when it comes to those rhetoric comments, as i said calm enough, which really depends on one’s elaboration of calm enough, my elaboration would be being close enough to punch one in the face yet still maintain a perfectly worn grin, violence is no way to face the world, though being raised in my country teaches you that violence is the only way, from the ever endless war to the marsh back to the middle ages, you get very inclined not to use violence, i still wonder how it feels to swing a good punch at someone’s face though.

i renew my caffeine blood level three times daily, i like my functionality under it, it keeps me sane, energy drinks too whenever i can get my hands on them without the being remarked on my so unhealthy choices, i don’t know what’s it with people and healthy living these days, it’s like a plague where people don’t die, which is worse in my eyes really, i don’t usually keep track with the daily three meals a day program, i eat whatever i can make whenever i’m hungry enough, my life isn’t what a typical twenty years old girl has, so why should my life be in any way daily, why should i be the expected princess, i can still be me – the clock wise caffeinated , highly tempered girl, who knows nothing about weddings or anything of that sort, and still own the crown.

i remember once pumping to an old friend when i was heading to an eight am lecture, we shook hands and kissed, and the only thing she managed to say before darting away was ” your the only girl i know who mixes up clothes so clumsily, yet still manage to look so refined” i didn’t get the chance to say anything to her at that moment, but i always kept that in mind whenever i get skeptical.

so maybe i don’t live so benevolently

maybe i’m too irreconcilable

maybe i’m the chosen one

or maybe i’m just a mere racket…


Author: malak94abouras

i never asked to love the words, they have loved me and i have then fallen

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