In what do people find their motives? in what do people find logic? where do they find meaning?… At the end of each day i wonder this same thing. But i find that most people don’t look for logic in life, but follow an ordered spontaneity like a preset of what life is supposed to be. A terrace of how it should be. In the midst of all this i find my self hollow wondering why am i so different, finding a hard time accepting that this what we have here and what we live by is what logic supposed to be.
The books on philosophy all join in at that to be irrelatable to the common understandings of your community is to be mad. A wack! A fault in design! But i believe that god created me and those who suffer the same as me like car makers making a limited design to show that this world is an endless continuum. It’s variations run through us not for us.
Logic is not hard to find, what is hard is the truth it unhides when found. The search for logic generates more and more questions and to answer them and find your own understanding, is to be ready for the next question to set sail.
I do understand what this world is about, what people is about and that is the original problem i believe. To understand! This world is not made to be understood, it is too complex for us just so we don’t get Lost. It’s easier to get lost in the meaning than the question. It’s easier to understand the purpose of a normal maze with one exit than a maze with all doors open.
For Those of you who run hollow; have no base structure. Your maze is all open and the search is endless.
My search is endless!
The weight of my mind bares me down, it tangles up the stream of thoughts, the waves of emotions and my line of life all into one imbalanced point, a fine thread between being normal and being mad.
I can’t even see or feel that thread anymore, i neither know whether I’m normal or mad, I’m normal because i say I’m mad, (mad people often see themselves normal) i know I’m not normal because nothing on or in this earth is the way for me, but if i say I’m normal then I’m mad, and if i think in this pattern that must mean I’m mad.
I guess i lost that fine thread the moment i visualized it.
It appears to me in my friend’s smile, in my little brothers satisfaction, in my goals and in my efforts, it appears to me in myself, it appears in parallel, and in pyramidal distinction, it’s a fine thread but it’s the only thing that connects me to reality, to thinking, and to rationality but only in skepticism to all of what’s just said, skepticism is a black line that approximates the fine thread of madness or in contrast of normality, it margins the madness when skepticism is in the fine law of existing, and the normality when skepticism in the queries of humanity is denied.
The stars are beautiful but they are the reck of something, they are still beautiful though the energy it holds, the distance it travels, it’s marvelous in the dreams they shed upon the eyes of the hopeless, is there any skepticism in those dreams? But are there any laws that govern them? There is freedom in thought, there is freedom in skepticism, there is no law and normality is to deny what you can’t acquire, madness is to acquire what others skepticise.